Monday, July 16, 2012

At the beginning...


When did it happen? I am not sure of the exact date; perhaps I should check my records to make it exact? But, does it really matters if the impact has been the same? We were in class together when he first approached me. His name is Saúl Maravilla. I could have ignored him and continue paying attention to class. But no; I listened to him. I let him lure me with his ideas. I was an eager listener and the excitement of something new got a hold of me. And without much hesitation I said yes. And that is how C.A.L.O.R. came to my location.  

            C.A.LO.R. (Comprensión y Apoyo a Latinos en Oposición al Retrovirus) came as a direct response to the lack of culturally and linguistically appropriate services to Latinos impacted by HIV in the first few years of the epidemic. A group of HIV+ individuals along with committed community members came together to fill the vacuum that existed at that time. At first, it was only a support group but over the years it grew as a result of the expressed needs of the participants. At that time, I had a for-profit business along with Omar N. López. We had a huge loft around Division Street and Damen Avenue in Chicago with plenty of space available, and so it was easy for us to say yes to the idea of having this group meet at our location.

            I remember the first group sessions I attended. I was mostly lost, not having a clear understanding of what was happening and of what impact this epidemic would have in our community.  I do remember there was not yet much talk about HIV or about dying. Most of it was about needing assistance to apply for Social Security, public aid, or some other type of benefit. “Who can go with me? I need translation.” There was a general sense of brotherhood, of everybody being together in the same situation. And everybody seemed to understand except me, because I was not clear on what was happening.

            Back in my hometown of Arecibo, Puerto Rico, nobody I knew had HIV; nobody had died of complications of AIDS. In retrospect, I can see it was already happening, just that nobody was talking about it. There was the guy that died of encephalitis, but that through a hospital worker we found out that it was “that new disease.” This was prior to regulations that prohibited disclosure of health-care information; people with access to medical records talked about it. As a young summer intern at the Hospital Regional de Arecibo, I had access to medical records and found out about my uncle’s battle with cancer way before anybody in the family knew about it. But that is another story.  

            There was also the death of one of the neighborhood guys who used drugs intravenously and his wife’s subsequent illness. Nobody said it out loud, but everybody said they were “sick with that new illness.” This was in 1986 and I moved to Chicago in 1987, and that was the extent of my contact with HIV. Of course, Magic Johnson’s announcement came a couple years later, but I was not a basketball fan, so it did not shock me as it shocked the rest of the world. HIV was still not a reality in my mind.

            It was that training, my very first training about HIV. I think the training was at Stop AIDS Chicago. It was also Saúl who pushed me to go to that training which was about women and HIV. Now, that really shocked me. I learned about HIV and women specifically, about how it impacted us, about the rising numbers of infections among women. That did it. I was alarmed, sad and scared, but also determined to do something about it. I was determined to continue learning and to dedicate myself to this matter.

            And so I did. With the help of others, we created a skeleton volunteer structure to accompany people to medical and social service-related appointments. We incorporated the organization with the State of Illinois and began to look at opportunities for funding. And most importantly, we kept our Saturday support groups going; this is where our friends, our family came together to share their experiences, to share their fears and frustrations about dealing with their new reality, to give each other encouragement and support.

            And I still did not know much. It still had not impacted me personally…but not for much longer. My life was about to change in ways that I had never imagined. The following months and years were filled with many visits to hospitals, with helping dear friends with their medications, with loss and visits to funeral homes. It was also filled, alternatively, with the desire to do something different because I was not sure I could continue coping with the frequent loss, and with the renewed desire to continue doing more. That was 21 years ago…and here I still am, and there is still much more to be done.

            I will tell you about those early years in my next blog. Meanwhile, share with me: how was your first experience with HIV? How and why did you get involved?  I look forward to reading your experiences!

Rosa

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